PART 1 - [link]

Needless to say, all of us kids were immediately up in arms. Keegan and Paxton both called my dad demanding to know what the fuck was going on; he tried to play dumb until Keegan said “Thirty-nine dad? Thirty-nine counts? You’re SICK, you are a sick, sick man!”
Sydney immediately hopped on his Myspace (oh yes, he has a Myspace. So that he and his cow can flirt with one another for all the world to see. Perhaps I should give it to you so you can all flame the fuck outta him… *contemplates this for a good long while*) and wrote him an angry message about how if he ever took her mother away that she’d never forgive him. That he was being cruel and she hated him. I discouraged her from sending it and told her that it would only make matters worse; that he’d try and say mom put her up to it, etc etc…
But when my dad hung up on Keegan so out of the blue, saying that he had customers and that he couldn’t talk right then, Keegan said that he was going to go and talk to him, and I went with.

Walked a good mile and a half to two miles up to his work, and when we came in the only other person there in the store with him was Gail.
My dad looked both alarmed and furious to see the two of us actually show up at his workplace, since he wouldn’t give us answers over the phone. He told us that he didn’t think we should be there right then, because he didn’t want a fight. I told him that we weren’t there looking for a fight, and he just leered at me and said that whenever we talk it seems to turn into a fight and he didn’t want to “have to call the cops”. (First thing he thinks of when his kids show up? Tch…nice.)
We kept trying to talk to him, but not only did he talk over both Keegan and I, and try to make pathetic little excuses for himself, that cow (who I mentioned doesn’t know when to get the FUCK out of things that don’t concern her) kept interrupting as well saying “no, you guys, I really have to tell you this” and “no, you kids don’t understand” like we’re fucking three year olds who don’t know what the hell we’re talking about. We talked in circles for a good hour or so, with him basically saying that he “had” to do it one minute (implying that the court was making him do it), and then admitting that he was going to use it as leverage against our mother in court, because SHE had dirt on him so he had to find a way to make her look bad.
You know, he prattles on and on about how he’s been oh so hurt and “cast out” and wounded and victimized… and yet does that stop him from lashing out and hurting others? I asked him the same thing; Isn’t he supposed to be a “good Christian man” now? Just because he’s been hurt, isn’t he supposed to turn the other cheek and let it go? How many times am I supposed to forgive my brother? Seven times----no, seven, but seventy times seventy. But when I bring this up he gets all indignant and tells me that he’s not going to just “roll over and let her “take everything”.
Finally I ended up getting so pissed off and frustrated that I turned to Keegan and told him that I was out. Then I gave my father the bird as I stormed out the doors. Perhaps… not the most tactful think I could have done, as now I wished I’d have told him that he’d burned his last bridges with me, and that he could try getting in contact with me again when he’s grown up but otherwise I wanted nothing to do with him… but since I don’t ever think he ever will man up for his mistakes and stop making them, I think that sent the message across clear enough.
You know, I don’t think I’ve ever actually directed that symbol at anyone in my entire life.

Well…. the pre-trial’s on Thursday (29th), and I’m pretty nervous. There’s a lot riding on all of this... The safety of my little family, this beautiful little home we couldn’t afford it my mother had to pay child support, our very lives and the way we live them, together. Everything. Loosing them would shatter my mother, and I would completely lose faith in mankind. Nothing would ever quite be the same.

…If there is a God out there… please, help us now. You must know we need it.
Please, someone prove to me that there’s at least a shred of justice left in the world.

Well… I’ve gone on long enough.
I know… this subject must be getting old.



♪~To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do~♪

God… I’d miss them so much if I couldn’t see them anymore.


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